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Critical Podium Dewanand


(joke) EVEN GOD ADMIRED by Bijon B. Sarma

Sacrificer           Bijon B. Sarma
Sacrifice code       wfor0407
Sacrifice date       25 march 2009

Man : God, I have come to give you some advise.

God : How dare you advise your god ?

Man : I have that courage, I have that intelligent. You should know I am not a 'Lesdeb'.

God : 'Lesdeb' ? What is that ?

Man : You know, intelligence is a quality of man.

God : Yes I know. I also know intelligence grows through acquiring knowledge and experience.

Man : You are right. In that case you also know, intelligence of a man grows only when he gets the scope of verifying every information through reasoning, logic and experiment.

God : Who on earth can disagree that ?

Man : In that case those who have been advised to believe 'things' without the slightest argument, not to say anything like 'verifying the information through reasoning logic and experiment' cannot have adequate intelligence.

God : You are right.

Man : In that case those whose thoughts and knowledge are bound by the "faiths imposed by religion" cannot have adequate intelligence. Do you agree ?

God : Who on earth can disagree this fact ?

Man : Thank you. For this reason we have given a name to those who have less developed brain due to religion.

God : (laughing) Lesdeb, is not it ? Excellent name. Most appropriate and very interesting.

Man : God, the way you are talking to me makes me to think you are a good and honest species.

God : What made you to think I am bad or shrewd ?

Man : Well the way you promised that nasty thing in your heaven made me to think so.

God : What nasty thing you mean ?

Man : Sorry, may be I cannot express. It is the act related to the birth of species.

God : You are right. Definitely it is a nasty job. In fact I won't at all allow it to the living species unless it was essential for birth.

Man : You are right. Even the animals, which normally have no shame, do it secretly.

God : Yes. But you, the men of the west, you do it so openly. You exhibit it in public, you make obscene movies, every day you transmit billions of e-mails with those nasty pictures. I feel so sorry for you.

Man : I am extremely sorry for it. Believe me, we were not of this type from the beginning. At the beginning, I mean at the stage when we became civilized we laughed at the animals and did it even more secretly.

God : Strange. Than what made to deviate ?

Man : Something inspired us to it.

God : What is this 'something' ?

Man : Religion. We studied religions. In course of doing that we were highly influenced by the teachings of those religions.

God : But I know, you did not accept those religion. Am I correct ?

Man : Yes, you are correct. With our knowledge of science and the universe how on earth can we believe in religion ? So, we did not accept religion, their teachings highly influenced our life-style.

God : Very strange.

Man : Yes. When we discovered religions have promised those in the heaven, we did not hesitate to accept in our daily life. After all we know, the story of the heaven is a blatant lie.

God : I am a little bit confused. How can a noble thing like religion promise it in heaven ? Are you sure, the religions promised it ?

Man : Well, most of the religions did not, but at least some definitely did.

God : I see. I know you are a nice man. For the sake of decency you won't pronounce the names of those religions. Well, you need not do that. You have mentioned an excellent term, Lesdeb. Earlier they used the term 'fundamentalist'. That in fact did not express what they wanted to express. But 'Lesdeb' does.

Man : Thank you for your complement.

God : This time I shall use a term to denote those religions. What about 'Seprorel' ?

Man : Excellent. It expresses exactly what I wanted to express. "Sex Promising Religion" or "Seprorel". Excellent.

God : As a matter of fact, I did not promise it. Being a sacred entity like god, how on earth can I promise it ?

Man : That seems convincing. In that case how was it formulated ?

God : You know the Lesdeb's won't understand it, that is why they are Lesdeb's. But you would understand. You know, not god but men created religion, and they did it in their own interest.

Man : Yes, even a little boy knows that.

God : The men who formulated religions in fact wanted some people to stand behind and work for them.

Man : Why ?

God : There could have been many reasons. Might be, one wanted to acquire an empire, one wanted to be rich without doing work, one wanted to punish his enemy and so on so forth.

Man : Yes, quite likely.

God : The man looking for disciples found out the 'general attraction or weakness' of the people of that region and used it as the bait. That made him to promise it in the heaven. Of course he used my name.

Man : And the Lesdeb's believed that ?

God : Yes. That is why they are Lesdeb's.

Man : That reminds me one thing. I know what guides a man is his thoughts. If a man things of those vices, he is sure to indulge in those.

God : Surely they would.

Man : Then, how can we keep them disciplined ?

God : By barbaric rules.

Man : You mean to say, like cutting hand for minor offense, beheading for grave offense etc. ?

God : Exactly.

Man : Thank you god. Your suggestions have solved my problem. For quite a long time I was thinking of a riddle.

God : What is that ?

Man : The riddle was, when someone thinks of those vices, there is every likelihood that he would indulge in those crimes. I discover, in the countries of the 'Seprorel's there are arrangements for barbaric punishment. And that keeps them disciplined. The civilized countries practice sophisticated penal system. I believe, this system is too inadequate, too lenient for the 'Seprorel's.

God : This is obvious. Do you think those countries would introduce that type of barbaric punishment unless they had the experience, what type of men the 'Seprorel's produce ?

Man : In that case the nicest solution to solve numerous problems would be : 'to introduce the type of punishment used by the countries with 'Seprorel's for the 'Seprorel's living in any country of the world.

God : Excellent proposition. I admire your intelligence.

Bijon B. Sarma, Co-author, JOURNEY TO THE EAST

(www.trafford.com/robots/01-0155.html , www.amazon.com ).


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