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7. Posted on date December 9, 2012, declined, not posted
I have learned that only a bigger and stronger beast
can fight and destroy the other beast humans on this planet of the intelligent
apes. However the idiot's paradox of this statement implicates that
the biggest beasts will finally win all battles and wars on our poor
blue planet and they will become superior leaders, rich apes and brutal
exploiters; so therefore theoretically the final steady state will be
a world with only big beast man, the ultimate end of civilization and
this could be the true, sad story of the history of my fellow species,
since they climbed out of the trees two million years ago.
8. Posted on date June 21, 2013, declined, not posted
I have learned that the best way to kill or make yourself
sicker is to believe that you are the biggest problem on this world,
or to believe the negative opinions of other people about you and feel
worthless, failed, lower, inferior and abnormal. Since I was a small
and weak, brown skinned hindustani boy in Surinam, other people always
discriminated against me, insulted me, belittled me and hurted me till
extreme painfull limits, and I learned to hate myself, and believe I
am a lower caste, chamar, dalit and an inferior kind of 'coolie' male's
species. Therefore my life was survival of the fittest inferior hindu
boy and the big change came when I decided to believe only myself and
all my writings, just like some kind of intelligent, high gifted brown
goldfish in a bowl with fresh rain water, especially sent to me from
Krishnaloka and Brahmaloka by a spaceship of another universe of divine
alien species, which had mercy with me, and that's precisely why I say
that I am a Hindu writer now on this tiny, blue and raped planet.
9. Not posted on date June 21, 2013, is too long
I have learned the following lessons, since my reincarnation 47 years
ago in Surinam, in my current inferior, golden brown skinned carbon
body: 1. Life is survival of the fittest Hindu boys, weak ones will
have to die by suicide or perish away as losers; 2. I am something,
definitely not human that can be disposed off and replaced by something
that is better, even by my own family who outcasted me long ago; 3.
My life is worthless in this hard, rough and darwinistic world; 4. I
am an one man army on the battlefield and no one will know me if I will
be hurted or captured by the enemies of Hindus as a POW; 5. I am alone
in the world; 6. I am left alone to my fate by all million Hindu gods
and goddesses; 7. I am indeed the lowest and most worthless hindu boy
in Holland, a nation of long, strong, superior white men; 8. It is up
to me, every morning if I awake to commit suicide to end my suffering
or proceed my war for survival with my digital pencils as a Hindu writer;
9. People like to belittle me, hurt me, insult me or denigrate me for
anything that I am, without reason and they enjoy it, if I feel sad
about it or end up in depressions; 10. Finally all people will be jealous
on me, because I survived, I wrote so many books, I am happier now with
myself, superior Germanic people say I am succesfull, I can grow further
mentally and perfect my own theoretical research.
10. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that the radical decision of me in 1993,
almost 20 years ago during a period of extreme pain, suffering, loneliness,
desperation, as a semi illegal Hindu boy in Holland, suicide problems,
mental illness and as a failed student at the University of Technology
in Delft, without earning the masters grade during the last year, to
work and radically organise my writing career in the distant future
and to persevere, saved my life and prevented that I indeed committed
suicide physically, and it was also the self developed technical concept
of Altecrea, as my personal creator that supported my whole survival
and success till today. If I look back now and look at my old writings
of 1993, I often think that this was my right to do it and the most
intelligent and wise decision of the battle that my life was since I
was an inferior, small, weak, short, unwanted Hindu boy in Surinam.
My advice to all people who are in dire need or who have suicide problems,
is to find another path to the future and organise your own survival,
because living further for one day more is better than not to live.
Grant yourself another chance to survive for one day and apply this
one line logic again the next day, and you will see yourself, after
twenty years that this simple SOS-survival mantra of me was very wise.
11. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned, that earning or possessing a lot of money is not the
real success or happiness in life, because in the distant past I was
wealthy indeed and unhappy every day, feeling unsatisfied and failed
as I am myself. Wealth creates attachment to the material world if it
becomes your master and your holy God, and then you are the slave of
it, in total delusion, greed, fear, anger, trapped in the mouse trap
of the lower monkey minds world, not free anymore, but imprisoned in
a golden cage, dehumanised, and you will not be able to buy love or
real friends with your money. Wealth can bury you in it or crush you
as a low insect and you will suffer in your own golden coffin, every
evening in your sleeping room, filled with expensive stones, three parted
heavy suits and wine. Success must be in your heart, wisdom, goodness,
noble deeds and not on a banking account with six or seven digits. Money
is the delusion of our failed world of today and the curse of materialism,
definitely the most dangerous and deadly invention of the intelligent
monkeys on Earth. Money is the cruellest serial killer of people and
it was never sentenced to death by any judge, police agent or government,
it is a legal killer in all nations of today's failed world.
12. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that unhappiness is the driving force to work harder
in order to achieve something, to become more successfull, richer or
more worth. Someone who is happy and who has no problems will never
work hard to change this and never achieve something in life. Unhappiness
is the best motivation to get the energy to change your life and accomplish
something or to define a hard target in future. Problems make someone
unhappy and I think that this is the proof that problems are good in
life and give it a meaning, so embrace or worship your problems and
buy some more or find more problems, if you want to achieve something
13. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that it is short path to evil and a long road to goodness.
Doing bad things gives more pleasure, than doing good things. That's
why the majority of people are evil and they do bad things.
14. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned after a long hard life of pain, suffering,
discrimination, loneliness and numerous moments of suicide that it is
better to be nothing or to belong to any tribe, nation, race, religion,
sect or caste, because doing this will only let me suffer more and it
will not make me more worth or let me live longer.
15. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that my own feelings or conclusion produced
by my onehundred billion braincells tell this to me: 'Hey Dewanand,
it is true, small, golden brown skinned, stupid fellow, your life is
over, sorry, swallow your suicide pills now, bye loser' and that this
information is a neuronic error and a malfunction and I must definitely
delete it in my consciousness (chetan), otherwise it will kill me and
I will indeed commit suicide. I had to fight these errors of my dysfunctional
braincells very often in my distant past and I think that my will power
to survive beated my own evil brains. Anyone has to fight this battle
between his bad braincells and his own will power, a whole life long
till the death.
16. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that I was born in the year 1966 in
a sick world and a wrong body and this infected me, abused me, confused
me and made me sick, insane, mad and unhappy. I was doomed since I appeared
on this poor, blue planet in an inferior, brown skinned, carbon body
and almost for a thousand times in my life I begged to disappear from
it and to dispose off this clothing of my sole, to feel happier. Unfortunately
it must be certain, that I still exist in this worthless, organic suit,
because I am writing this text on the internet now for the other intelligent
apes outside Holland, SOS, SOS rescue my poor sole, mayday, mayday,
17. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned, since I was born 47 years ago in Surinam,
that the whole life of me in this brown skinned, small, inferior humanoid
carbon body is one big everlasting problem, and the worst thing I learned
today is that I myself am my own unsolved problem of myself. The terrible
thing is that I cannot solve the problem that I am myself and now I
believe that if I will die in future, either naturally, by accident
or unfortunately by suicide, this problem will solve itself and then
after this final event, I will have to see in after life, which new
problems I will have to solve, or encounter, possible in another universe,
far, far away from Earth.
18. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that I still don't understand the teachings of my Dutch
maths teacher when I was a young hundu boy of fifteen in Surinam in
the junior school, he said to me: 'Why do you want to choose the difficult
way to solve this mathematical problem, if you can do it in an easier
manner?'. Now I am 47 years old and it is a bad habit of me to choose
the hardest and toughest or most difficult way to solve my problems
and I think now I must be more stupid than during the distant past,
because I feel failed, worthless and insane. Bad students will always
fail and they must blame this to themselves and not to their teachers.
19. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that each of the hundred types of religions, faiths,
sects and many denominations are just like some kind of brothels. You
pay at the entrance of it, go into it, do some rituals and say some
prayers from holy books to their own versions and depictions of their
own imaginitive Gods and Goddesses and enjoy or have sex with the million
whores and even tight virgins in it, till your death and even after
this life till eternity you will be able to enjoy eternal virgins in
paradise, so therefore don't hesitate and convert today to one of them
to have more pleasure and be a happy and satisfied faithfull man.
20. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that I am the victim of my own soul (atman), because
this immaterial and mysterious entity, without mass, deep inside my
unknown inner world was the thing that took the decision for me, somewhere
during the period september 1965, at the conception of my mother and
father, to manifest myself in this inferior, weak, small shaped, short
and golden brown skinned body, which was the main reason for all pains,
sufferings, discrimination, denigration, suicide problems etc, since
I was born in Surinam and migrated to Holland when I was nineteen year
in 1986. My soul made the choice to manifest myself and to undergo all
my self aware sufferings and I don't know how to deal with this problem
and why my soul did this for me. Must I hate and punish my soul for
this crime or love it and reward it? This is the biggest mystery of
my whole existence at this moment in my life.
21. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that life is a total war for survival
since I was a small, weak, physically inferior hindu boy, born in Surinam.
Since my young years I learned in the hardest way that my only hope
to survive was to be smarter, more intelligent and better then all the
other millions of intelligent monkeys on this blue planet, and if I
failed they would have slaughtered me and consume me alive, therefore
I had to learn to suffer a lot in total loneliness, with inner pains,
an extreme minority complex and maybe today, one day after my forty
seventh birthday, I must admit to all people in the world that it is
true that I just cannot die and very often I think about the suicidal
statement that it would have been better for me if I was strong enough
during the distant past to kill myself, however happily this didn't
happened to me and this is the hard proof of the old saying of wise
man, that 'weakness is strength indeed'.
22. Not yet Posted (june, 2013)
I have learned that it is better to be mad then death, as numerous superior
Germanic Dutch people told me, as an encouragement and to empower me
to write the most insane, dirty and sick things, just to live in Holland
and enjoy my right to be free and say or write what is on my mind and
in my brown Hindu heart and this kept me alive, prevented my physical
suicide indeed and developed my whole writing career, consisting of
numerous books and texts. I do believe sometime that the simple one
line ancient Dutch farmer's wisdom is more superior and higher evolved,
if it is compared to the older and very sophisticated Hindu wisdom of